Kratos's Return
by cyanbilbo
Summary: What would happen if Kratos ever returned from Derris Kharlan to the TOS:DotNW weirdness? Meant to be taken lightly. Slight TOS:DotNW bashing, some swearing, and much confusion for Kratos. And Spoilers. My attempt at humor, be warned.


Okay, I was thinking, what would happen if Kratos ever returned from Derris Kharlan? What if he did it during TOS:DotNW where everyone has seemingly forgotten everything that had happened before? Meant to be taken lightly. Slight TOS:DotNW bashing, some swearing, and much confusion for Kratos. Oh, and SPOILERS! So, if you haven't played the games, then don't yell at me if anything gets ruined for you. ^^

DISCLAIMER: Okay, I definitely do not own anything Tales related, including (of course) TOS and TOS:DotNW.

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Start!!

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Kratos slowly descended from the sky and looked over the landscape of the new world. He quickly spotted the Great Tree and flew towards it hoping to spot one of his old traveling companions. As he touched down on the ground, he was surrounded by a slew of familiar, and some not so familiar, faces. Everyone started speaking at once, their words ranging from greetings to confused mutterings.

"Kratos!" He heard a voice, an unfamiliar voice at that, call fondly, and he saw a red figure shove itself to the front of the crowd. "Alright, everyone, back up a little. Give him some space!" The same voice called over the din of the crowd. The people backed up, and Kratos was finally able to recognize some of them. Miraculously, all of his old companions looked almost exactly the same, with some of them just a little taller than before. It was only when the owner of the voice made himself visible did Kratos truly become surprised.

"Lloyd?! That's you? What happened to your voice?" Kratos asked, slightly shocked by the huge change in only 2 years time. It wasn't the outfit or the general look of his son that shocked the ex-mercenary. Oh no, it was the weird voice.

"…I thought you had already gone through puberty. I didn't think your voice would change that much." He said after a beat of silence.

Lloyd simply shrugged, and replied, "Oh, well, it has been a while since you heard me last. Maybe you just remembered my voice being different?" Kratos shook his head sharply from side to side, his eyes wide.

"No… no, your voice is just really different…"

"…Oh. Okay. Well, no big deal, right? So, what brings you here?"

Kratos shook his head to clear up any residual shock over his son's voice change. "Well, Derris Kharlan-"

"Wait, what now?" Lloyd interrupted, raising his eyebrow in confusion. Kratos stared at the eternal swordsman for a moment before he hesitantly replied.

"You know, Derris Kharlan. The huge comet thing that Mithos had his base of operations on? Welgaia? The planet that I banished myself to in order to take care of the angels living there?" There was no response, and everyone just looked at Kratos strangely. Then suddenly it clicked.

"Oh! Right! Derris Kharlan" Lloyd exclaimed, and the others all had looks of recollection on their faces. Kratos eyed his son warily before continuing.

"Anyway, Derris Kharlan orbited quite close to this planet today, so I figured I would come down and visit my son and all my old traveling companions." Again, the only thing he received was blank looks. A cricket chriped nearby. "…What?" Kratos asked cautiously, thoroughly confused by everyone's behavior. Suddenly Lloyd's eyes gained a gleam of understanding.

"That's right!" He exclaimed again, looking at Kratos joyfully. "You journeyed with us! And you're my father! I forgot all about that!" Kratos's eye twitched, and he fought the urge to fall over. _He… forgot that?! _Trying to ignore his rising annoyance with the strangeness of the reunion, Kratos changed the subject.

"What are all of you doing here? Are you collecting the expheres together?" Once again, the familiar silence returned. Kratos shot everyone incredulous looks. "You know… expheres? The magic crystal thingies that gave us our powers? That happen to be made from human lives…? That you, at least, Lloyd had decided to round up?" Again, all he received were blank looks. And again, Lloyd was the first to catch on.

"Oh, you mean those old things? Oh, well, you've been gone a long time old man. Those are ancient power ups. The new thing now is bonding with a Centurion core."

"…A what?"

"You know, a Centurion core. As in, the essence of the age-old creatures who control monsters?"

"…What the hell are you taking about?!"

"Oh, come on, you must know of Centurions. You were alive 4000 years ago after all. And Mithos was the one who created such an imbalance in the monster world. That was bound to upset Lord Ratatosk, the ruler of all monsters. You guys should have known that. Now, the Ginnungagap is in danger of being opened and unleashing demons into this world."

"…What the HELL are you TALKING about?!"

At this time, a small timid boy in a peculiar (and oddly revealing) blue outfit stepped forward. He had blonde hair and sweet green eyes, and he skittishly looked up at the thoroughly confused ex-Seraphim. "Uh, Mister Kratos, sir? Hi, my name's Emil, and this is Marta, and this is the Centurion of Darkness, Tenebrae." Kratos looked at the shy boy, his pushy girlfriend, and his creepy floating dog. Then he turned and walked away. Lloyd called after him, and then chased after him when he didn't stop walking.

"Kratos, wait, wait. What's the matter? Where are you going?" Kratos stopped in his tracks, and looked down at the ground. Then he suddenly snapped his head up and whipped around to face the red-clad warrior.

"What's the matter? What's the matter?! Everyone has gone fucking insane! How come no one seems to remember the whole Mithos / Cruxis incident, huh? And what about the expheres?! And what about Derris Kharlan, and ME dammit?! And what the HELL is with all this talk about centuries and lords who control monsters and gates to the underworld or whatever? I mean, what the hell? I'm over 4000 years old and I've never heard of any of that stuff. And Mithos created the worlds! I think he would have told me about such things! And where's Yuan? And why is Zelos alive? I mean, he died and I joined up with you guys, remember?" It took a little for Lloyd to take in the mercenary's tirade, but when he did he met it with a chuckle.

"Oh," he replied, still laughing a little, "You must be from the alternate ending. In this world, Zelos didn't die, and he came back to join our group. And about you not knowing about the Centurions and the Ginnungagap, well, you can't know everything, right? Besides, apparently Lord Ratatosk was dormant for a while." Kratos stared at Lloyd for some time, his left eye twitching sporadically. Finally he turned around again and started walking away from his crazy son.

"To hell with this, I'm going back to Derris Kharlan where people are actually sane. Soul-less, and dull, and robotic, but sane all the same." He muttered, withdrawing his mana wings and preparing for flight.

As he flew away, his angelic hearing heard his son with the weird voice exclaim, "Wow! I wish I had wings!" Kratos almost withdrew his wings in shock, and his eye twitched so much that he felt a full-fledged body spasm coming. But he forced it down, shook his head in disbelief, and flew off to rejoin the only sane people left: the soul-less angels of Welgaia.

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The End!!

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AN: Well, this kind of took on a life of its own, to be truthful. I was going to have Kratos talk with everyone, but Lloyd pretty much took all the dialogue in this. And, really, I don't have that much of a problem with TOS: Dawn of a New World. But you have to admit, there are some wicked huge plot holes. Nobody seems to really care about the expheres anymore, none of the group has really stuck together, they all wear the same outfits (besides Regal for a little while), the whole Centurion/Ratatosk stuff is extremely far-fetched given the nature of the world's creation and last 4000 years of existence, Lloyd apparently lost his wings, and WHERE THE HELL IS KRATOS?! I mean, yeah, he's on Derris Kharlan, but still! I don't remember him even ever being _mentioned_! That's just sad. And really. That anyone from the group even thought for a second that Lloyd was evil is just ridiculous. He's the Eternal Swordsman! He's the Idealist!! But, aside from all that, I really did like the game. It was cute. But I still thought it'd be funny to see what would happen if Kratos ever came back. Unfortunately, I'm not sure I quite succeeded in my goal, but... oh well. ^^


End file.
